Monday, November 23, 2015
New Movie
Yesterday, I didnt write a blog post because I started writing a new screenplay.
A FUCKING HILARIOUS one!
Too bad its easier for me to write scripts than to produce them...
Someday...
Some day...
But it doesnt cost money to write an epic hilarious script.
Just takes some good old fashioned wit,
Plenty of keys on yer computer keyboard,
Words from languages,
And unlimited drugs and sugar.
Well... if only.
If only someone reads this!
If only someone notices my brilliance!
If only someone invests a half million dollars in my Dank Master script!
If only Dank Master makes $300 million at the box office and funds all my other projects!
What do you mean IF ONLY!
Thats exactly whats going to happen!
Im just telling you the future timeline for this blog.
You heard it here first!
DANK MASTER breaks stoner comedy records, banking over $300 million its first day!
WOOHOO!
Thank you!
I couldnt have done it without my blog readers!!!
Sincerely,
Carbon Phallus, MD
And now, a picture of weed:
A FUCKING HILARIOUS one!
Too bad its easier for me to write scripts than to produce them...
Someday...
Some day...
But it doesnt cost money to write an epic hilarious script.
Just takes some good old fashioned wit,
Plenty of keys on yer computer keyboard,
Words from languages,
And unlimited drugs and sugar.
Well... if only.
If only someone reads this!
If only someone notices my brilliance!
If only someone invests a half million dollars in my Dank Master script!
If only Dank Master makes $300 million at the box office and funds all my other projects!
What do you mean IF ONLY!
Thats exactly whats going to happen!
Im just telling you the future timeline for this blog.
You heard it here first!
DANK MASTER breaks stoner comedy records, banking over $300 million its first day!
WOOHOO!
Thank you!
I couldnt have done it without my blog readers!!!
Sincerely,
Carbon Phallus, MD
And now, a picture of weed:
Saturday, November 21, 2015
Dank Ann Landers
Greetings Earthlings!
This blog is an interactive place for people to exchange information.
I used to assume everyone knew the truth about marijuana,
But the more I observe the news, surf the internet, and talk to all kinds of different people,
I see that most people have no information, or even worse - misinformation about marijuana.
Instead of leaving the conversation out there, and staying a passive observer,
I think this blog should be used to educate people as well as its original aim-
To entertain, and promote our feature film Dank Master.
What a perfect place to have Dank Dialogue!
Throughout the conception, writing, planning, and pre-production of Dank Master,
We have done extensive research of anything associated with marijuana,
Our chief aim has been to entertain and enlighten you.
Our much anticipated trailer is on the way, and the weather is forcing us to take a break in filming.
So let's get together and share some information!
Are you a growing expert?
Smoking expert?
Glass blower?
Or medical marijuana patient?
Are you a non-weed-smoker looking for information?
Are you an angry parent looking to criticize things on the internet? lol
Whatever your experience is with marijuana,
If you are a lifetime student,
LETS DO IT!
Let's document some buck-shwillis up in hya!
Post your marijuana-related questions here and I will personally answer :)
Like a Dank Ann Landers
This blog is an interactive place for people to exchange information.
I used to assume everyone knew the truth about marijuana,
But the more I observe the news, surf the internet, and talk to all kinds of different people,
I see that most people have no information, or even worse - misinformation about marijuana.
Instead of leaving the conversation out there, and staying a passive observer,
I think this blog should be used to educate people as well as its original aim-
To entertain, and promote our feature film Dank Master.
What a perfect place to have Dank Dialogue!
Throughout the conception, writing, planning, and pre-production of Dank Master,
We have done extensive research of anything associated with marijuana,
Our chief aim has been to entertain and enlighten you.
Our much anticipated trailer is on the way, and the weather is forcing us to take a break in filming.
So let's get together and share some information!
Are you a growing expert?
Smoking expert?
Glass blower?
Or medical marijuana patient?Are you a non-weed-smoker looking for information?
Are you an angry parent looking to criticize things on the internet? lol
Whatever your experience is with marijuana,
If you are a lifetime student,
LETS DO IT!
Let's document some buck-shwillis up in hya!
Post your marijuana-related questions here and I will personally answer :)
Like a Dank Ann Landers
Friday, November 20, 2015
Blerp-derp!
Ohhh yeah! Blogging time!
My favorite thing to do!
Fill this empty page with nonsense.
And then hide and wait to see if anyone reads it.
BAHAHAHA and then the cackling ensues.
Im always awaiting an absurd comment,
But no one ever comments.
I think these writings leave people speechless...
Our out of breath from masturbating to the genius writing style!!
Can I get a "Pyoo-gaaay"?
Can I get a "Derp-derp"?
What about a blerp-derp?
A shlbt nyaaargle?
Ill define all these words later,
If youre not up to speed,
If yer not speekin my langage,
Ya soon will be!
And dictionaries around the world will define my words!!
When the urban dictionary lists "pooping and eating it"
My catch phrase.
When the libraries hold articles on Pyelp Pyogie,
My career will be a success...
That is all for now, my friends...
That is all...
And now, I will search the internet for a random weed picture!
My favorite thing to do!
Fill this empty page with nonsense.
And then hide and wait to see if anyone reads it.
BAHAHAHA and then the cackling ensues.
Im always awaiting an absurd comment,
But no one ever comments.
I think these writings leave people speechless...
Our out of breath from masturbating to the genius writing style!!
Can I get a "Pyoo-gaaay"?
Can I get a "Derp-derp"?
What about a blerp-derp?
A shlbt nyaaargle?
Ill define all these words later,
If youre not up to speed,
If yer not speekin my langage,
Ya soon will be!
And dictionaries around the world will define my words!!
When the urban dictionary lists "pooping and eating it"
My catch phrase.
When the libraries hold articles on Pyelp Pyogie,
My career will be a success...
That is all for now, my friends...
That is all...
And now, I will search the internet for a random weed picture!
Thursday, November 19, 2015
What the fuck Quack scientists on weed
I was watching a documentary the other day about marijuana, and at the end, there was some asshole with white hair who used to work for the DEA or the Presidents drug cabinet or some other abomination, and I literally shit my pants and wiped it all over the screen when he said weed LOWERS YOUR IQ!
Well I guess my writing style in this blog doesnt necessarily suggest any intelligence. Not to mention my purposeful spelling errors, lack of apostrophes, or pooping my pants... BUT- this guy is an asshole idiot. How many scientists have I met that smoke weed!? Almost all of them that I have met personally- Im sure there are many that dont, but I havent met them. It seems to me that many if not most of the doctors and scientists I have in my family, group of friends, or just chatted with have not only smoked weed, but even recommend it to others.
And the real thing that pissed me off the most was that he said weed isnt the kind of thing to smoke to do you Physics homework... I think that comment enters him into the Jackass Hall of Fame. I have personally smoked while reading multiple Stephen Hawking books. In fact, I WOULDNT have read them unless I was high... Duh! Who would read physics sober?
Anyway... in this expert's opinion, weed does not lower your IQ.
Reading this blog might though :D
Wabalubadub-dub!!
Well I guess my writing style in this blog doesnt necessarily suggest any intelligence. Not to mention my purposeful spelling errors, lack of apostrophes, or pooping my pants... BUT- this guy is an asshole idiot. How many scientists have I met that smoke weed!? Almost all of them that I have met personally- Im sure there are many that dont, but I havent met them. It seems to me that many if not most of the doctors and scientists I have in my family, group of friends, or just chatted with have not only smoked weed, but even recommend it to others.
And the real thing that pissed me off the most was that he said weed isnt the kind of thing to smoke to do you Physics homework... I think that comment enters him into the Jackass Hall of Fame. I have personally smoked while reading multiple Stephen Hawking books. In fact, I WOULDNT have read them unless I was high... Duh! Who would read physics sober?
Anyway... in this expert's opinion, weed does not lower your IQ.
Reading this blog might though :D
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Dank Master News Flash
"Pyelp Pyogie" - a new drug that is hitting our streets, schools, churches, preschools, and homeless shelters.
Officials say, theres no way to tell if Pyelp Pyogie even exists,
Professors at the university of dildo repair say, "That frikkin Pyogie ova there, gettin high on dem tomatas."
We werent sure what he was talking about...
and now, another unrelated photo:
Officials say, theres no way to tell if Pyelp Pyogie even exists,
Professors at the university of dildo repair say, "That frikkin Pyogie ova there, gettin high on dem tomatas."
We werent sure what he was talking about...
and now, another unrelated photo:
@DankMastermovie on Twitter
Blogger Gone Mad
Blogger gone mad.
An angry dad,
With a Hoegaarden in one hand,
And a hoe garden in the back.
He poops and eats it,
He does things that arent real,
He spellz sings rong,
And hes a real "Pyelp Pyogie."
HES ME!
HAhaa~ did you guess it?
I told you just in case you have no inference,
Or in case you only can reed werds spelld rite.
Heres an unrelated picture:
An angry dad,
With a Hoegaarden in one hand,
And a hoe garden in the back.
He poops and eats it,
He does things that arent real,
He spellz sings rong,
And hes a real "Pyelp Pyogie."
HES ME!
HAhaa~ did you guess it?
I told you just in case you have no inference,
Or in case you only can reed werds spelld rite.
Heres an unrelated picture:
www.dank-master.com
Dank Master comic on Facebook
Dank Master the feature film
@DankMastermovie on Twitter
Tumblr.com/dankmasterkush
Rub Up Against! studios
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