Thursday, December 31, 2015

Thank You Readers!


Well, its been one year since the start of this blog, and it was been quite an awesome ride!

2015 was a year of massive action! We are heading into 2016 with a lot of energy, momentum, a bigger team, and a sea of new faces for us to entertain!! Thank you so much for reading and sharing this past year!

We are working hard in between updates. I am working on writing a Dank Master episode of a secret nature which we will release at a later date. Also writing another screenplay, which shall be fun and weed filled, and writing a lot of other Dank Master comedy material for future videos. Check out the Dank Master movie teaser here if you haven't.

Point being, we have so much more awesome stuff on the way! We feel passionately about making you giggle!
More to come:
Writing
Art
Videos
Music
Films
We will also resume filming Dank Master the movie in the Spring when my balls thaw.

HAVE AN AMAZING NEW YEARS!
Party safely!
And THANK YOU for reading, watching, supporting, commenting, and subscribing!


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Poopdick Salad Sandwich

Poopdicks unite!
Goota fight off this dragon before I end the night!
And no, Im not playing video games,
Im plugged into the cosmos experiencing multiple timelines
-with dragons.

This one is named Ed,
I told him not to use an English name,
that it just seems weird,
But he doesnt care.

THATS MY STORY AND IM POOP-DICKIN TO IT!

and now for a random picture off the internet:
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OMG! Dank Master Movie Teaser!

THE MOMENT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR


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Dank Vader


Dank Vader
Not your average Masterbator,
Hes got a frikkin "la-zer"
And it aint no goddamn tazer
-shit'll chop yer dang arm off!
Thats why he doesnt need a sawed off.

His metal testicles spark when he walks,
Hotter that Lara Croft,
He outputs digital farts,
-an art form lost with Noah's Arc.

Im Joan of the St Luis Arch,
My arms and legs have been pulled apart,
By some robot in dark,
Calls himself "Darth"?


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Monday, December 21, 2015

Dank Master Shirt Sale

Dank Master shirt sale for our marvelous friends and fans

Dank Master T shirt

Dank Master hoodie


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Friday, December 4, 2015

Dank Master movie teaser demo


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Monday, November 23, 2015

Weedmobile


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New Movie

Yesterday, I didnt write a blog post because I started writing a new screenplay.
A FUCKING HILARIOUS one!
Too bad its easier for me to write scripts than to produce them...
Someday...
Some day...

But it doesnt cost money to write an epic hilarious script.
Just takes some good old fashioned wit,
Plenty of keys on yer computer keyboard,
Words from languages,
And unlimited drugs and sugar.

Well... if only.
If only someone reads this!
If only someone notices my brilliance!
If only someone invests a half million dollars in my Dank Master script!
If only Dank Master makes $300 million at the box office and funds all my other projects!

What do you mean IF ONLY!
Thats exactly whats going to happen!
Im just telling you the future timeline for this blog.

You heard it here first!
DANK MASTER breaks stoner comedy records, banking over $300 million its first day!
WOOHOO!
Thank you!
I couldnt have done it without my blog readers!!!

Sincerely,
Carbon Phallus, MD


And now, a picture of weed:

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Saturday, November 21, 2015

Dank Ann Landers

Greetings Earthlings!

This blog is an interactive place for people to exchange information.
I used to assume everyone knew the truth about marijuana,
But the more I observe the news, surf the internet, and talk to all kinds of different people,
I see that most people have no information, or even worse - misinformation about marijuana.

Instead of leaving the conversation out there, and staying a passive observer,
I think this blog should be used to educate people as well as its original aim-
To entertain, and promote our feature film Dank Master.
What a perfect place to have Dank Dialogue!

Throughout the conception, writing, planning, and pre-production of Dank Master,
We have done extensive research of anything associated with marijuana,
Our chief aim has been to entertain and enlighten you.
Our much anticipated trailer is on the way, and the weather is forcing us to take a break in filming.

So let's get together and share some information!

Are you a growing expert?
Smoking expert?
Glass blower?
Or medical marijuana patient?

Are you a non-weed-smoker looking for information?
Are you an angry parent looking to criticize things on the internet? lol

Whatever your experience is with marijuana,
If you are a lifetime student,
LETS DO IT!
Let's document some buck-shwillis up in hya!

Post your marijuana-related questions here and I will personally answer :)
Like a Dank Ann Landers
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Friday, November 20, 2015

Blerp-derp!

Ohhh yeah! Blogging time!
My favorite thing to do!
Fill this empty page with nonsense.
And then hide and wait to see if anyone reads it.
BAHAHAHA and then the cackling ensues.

Im always awaiting an absurd comment,
But no one ever comments.
I think these writings leave people speechless...
Our out of breath from masturbating to the genius writing style!!

Can I get a "Pyoo-gaaay"?
Can I get a "Derp-derp"?
What about a blerp-derp?
A shlbt nyaaargle?

Ill define all these words later,
If youre not up to speed,
If yer not speekin my langage,
Ya soon will be!

And dictionaries around the world will define my words!!
When the urban dictionary lists "pooping and eating it"
My catch phrase.
When the libraries hold articles on Pyelp Pyogie,
My career will be a success...

That is all for now, my friends...
That is all...



And now, I will search the internet for a random weed picture!

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Thursday, November 19, 2015

What the fuck Quack scientists on weed

I was watching a documentary the other day about marijuana, and at the end, there was some asshole with white hair who used to work for the DEA or the Presidents drug cabinet or some other abomination, and I literally shit my pants and wiped it all over the screen when he said weed LOWERS YOUR IQ!

Well I guess my writing style in this blog doesnt necessarily suggest any intelligence. Not to mention my purposeful spelling errors, lack of apostrophes, or pooping my pants... BUT- this guy is an asshole idiot. How many scientists have I met that smoke weed!? Almost all of them that I have met personally- Im sure there are many that dont, but I havent met them.  It seems to me that many if not most of the doctors and scientists I have in my family, group of friends, or just chatted with have not only smoked weed, but even recommend it to others.

And the real thing that pissed me off the most was that he said weed isnt the kind of thing to smoke to do you Physics homework... I think that comment enters him into the Jackass Hall of Fame. I have personally smoked while reading multiple Stephen Hawking books. In fact, I WOULDNT have read them unless I was high... Duh! Who would read physics sober?

Anyway... in this expert's opinion, weed does not lower your IQ.
Reading this blog might though :D
Wabalubadub-dub!!
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Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Dank Master News Flash

"Pyelp Pyogie" - a new drug that is hitting our streets, schools, churches, preschools, and homeless shelters.
Officials say, theres no way to tell if Pyelp Pyogie even exists,
Professors at the university of dildo repair say, "That frikkin Pyogie ova there, gettin high on dem tomatas."
We werent sure what he was talking about...


and now, another unrelated photo:


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Blogger Gone Mad

Blogger gone mad.
An angry dad,
With a Hoegaarden in one hand,
And a hoe garden in the back.

He poops and eats it,
He does things that arent real,
He spellz sings rong,
And hes a real "Pyelp Pyogie."

HES ME!
HAhaa~ did you guess it?
I told you just in case you have no inference,
Or in case you only can reed werds spelld rite.

Heres an unrelated picture:


www.dank-master.com
Dank Master comic on Facebook
Dank Master the feature film
@DankMastermovie on Twitter
Tumblr.com/dankmasterkush
Rub Up Against! studios 
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Saturday, October 10, 2015

Behind the scenes with Dank Master Cast and Crew! photo blog



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Friday, October 9, 2015

FILMING! with new Dank Master comics

Aww shit!
Hot off the presses,
Dank Master comic books,
For the one and only,
Dank Master... the movie.

Filmin our balls off




















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Friday, August 21, 2015

First Day Filming~!

First day filming with an actor!
Celebrate faster!
Just look at that epic shot :P
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Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Dank Master demo reel - island scenery

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Saturday, August 8, 2015

Its me!

Its me
Im back with the busted rhymes
Zero apostrophes
Aint got time cuz im in
Lychtenshtein
Fulla clerical erras
Ancient eras
and ancient heirs later,
I put one comma
And the stage erupts in flair,
Lightning bolts
Thats all it ever does...
But this stanzas done!







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A Friend with Weed is a Friend Indeed!

 

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Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Non-nonsensicle DANK MASTER movie update!



Its been a long time since I posted a non-nonsensicle.
Oh darnit,
I already turnip testicle...

Ok, bring it back to reality.

This blog post is SERIOUS. No more testicle jokes...

I did something today... something wierd... something wild... something tropical, topical, fantasticle.

I started filming some establishing shots from Dank Master the movie on location! If youre not excited by this, than add an apostrophe and then see yourself to the door!
Whatever door is nearest you will do!

For everyone else sticking around, I have more fantastic news! We casted more main characters! And are heading to North America film some raw-dogg, raw-willis, raw-cappucino footage!!

This footage will make your footitch.
It will give you 20thousand stitches!

Dankest of the Dank!
This footage will be rank!
This footage will have that special STANK!
Pull up a dild, and start spankin!
This footage will leave you wankin!
The scenes are coming together,
Like birds of a feather,
And you are the witnesses!
When Dank Master the movie hits theatres,
Y'all gone wet yerselvs!!

International cast!
Hardly flaccid shafts!
Titties in Asia!
SIDE KICK TO THE FACE
Tickle the funny bone,
And then leave you in a daze~~~

See you soon...

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Friday, July 31, 2015

OMG


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DANK

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Thursday, July 16, 2015

Cops Who Smoke Weed



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10K CASH!


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Sunday, July 12, 2015

Dank Master Kush Assassin



Dank Master
Kush Assassin,
Upyour Assington,
Flailing McAround-alot.

Toke up,
Broke bro stuff,
Lickin poisonous toads n stuff,
Put it on some ketchup.

Double dose,
Doubley penetrated,
Right wings elated,
Chronicly masterbated.

My chronic masterbated?
Feminine seeds with no male attention,
Getting lonely and dripping wet,
T.H.Clemintine FOR MY BUNGHOLE!!!


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